Oppressive
I never thought that not blogging could feel oppressive. I've sometimes felt that the need to post every day can be a bit oppressive, but not posting? It's funny how one can grow to depend on putting the little day to day thoughts and happenings out there into the world of the Internet. The interaction that comes with it is rewarding and usually much needed.
Since I haven't gotten myself together enough to photograph my birthday book I've stayed from my blog. It's sort of like self punishment. I've also found myself with a very needy 2 year old on my hands. Every time I even think about sitting down in front of the computer she seems to sense it and begins asking for everything under the sun. Once I've fulfilled her needs, or ended an argument about why I won't fill her needs, it's time, once again, to feed Alex. And that kid could eat forever! We usually go 40 to 50 minutes at a time, and when I decide I'm done he usually isn't. So my day goes something like this. Wake up to feed Alexander. Kaitlin wakes up. Fix Kaitlin her chocolate milk and cereal. Take a shower. Feed Alexander. Get ready to go out to run errands. Come home. Fix Kaitlin's lunch. Feed Alexander. Try to get Alexander and Kaitlin down for a nap at the same time. Take a nap. Feed Alexander. Play with Kaitlin. Figure out what to make for dinner. Feed Alexander. Call Jeremy to beg him to come home ;), make dinner. Help get Kaitlin ready for bed. Hold Alexander without any interruptions. Feed Alexander. Go to bed to be ready to start the whole cycle over again.
It seems like drudgery, and sometimes it feels that way. My new mantra is "She's only two, she's only two!" I also have to remind myself often that I wanted this. Yes, I signed up for it, hard days and all. Today, though, I had a very good day. I had a little burst of energy. I skipped the nap, and got things done. I gave myself permission to play in my studio, and what a happy thing! Thanks to Kristie's Christmas post, I decided to start my Christmas cards. I designed them last year and bought everything for them, but then I ended up being too sick and tired with my pregnancy to actually make and send anything. So now they're all ready to be assembled. Then I just have to write my letter closer to the date. My reasoning is that I need to get my Christmas cards out early so I can be added back onto people's Christmas card lists!
OK, so I began this post on Wednesday and now it's Thursday. Seriously, if I could finish anything the same day I began itwould be a miracle! (Deep breath--I wanted this!)
Since I haven't gotten myself together enough to photograph my birthday book I've stayed from my blog. It's sort of like self punishment. I've also found myself with a very needy 2 year old on my hands. Every time I even think about sitting down in front of the computer she seems to sense it and begins asking for everything under the sun. Once I've fulfilled her needs, or ended an argument about why I won't fill her needs, it's time, once again, to feed Alex. And that kid could eat forever! We usually go 40 to 50 minutes at a time, and when I decide I'm done he usually isn't. So my day goes something like this. Wake up to feed Alexander. Kaitlin wakes up. Fix Kaitlin her chocolate milk and cereal. Take a shower. Feed Alexander. Get ready to go out to run errands. Come home. Fix Kaitlin's lunch. Feed Alexander. Try to get Alexander and Kaitlin down for a nap at the same time. Take a nap. Feed Alexander. Play with Kaitlin. Figure out what to make for dinner. Feed Alexander. Call Jeremy to beg him to come home ;), make dinner. Help get Kaitlin ready for bed. Hold Alexander without any interruptions. Feed Alexander. Go to bed to be ready to start the whole cycle over again.
It seems like drudgery, and sometimes it feels that way. My new mantra is "She's only two, she's only two!" I also have to remind myself often that I wanted this. Yes, I signed up for it, hard days and all. Today, though, I had a very good day. I had a little burst of energy. I skipped the nap, and got things done. I gave myself permission to play in my studio, and what a happy thing! Thanks to Kristie's Christmas post, I decided to start my Christmas cards. I designed them last year and bought everything for them, but then I ended up being too sick and tired with my pregnancy to actually make and send anything. So now they're all ready to be assembled. Then I just have to write my letter closer to the date. My reasoning is that I need to get my Christmas cards out early so I can be added back onto people's Christmas card lists!
OK, so I began this post on Wednesday and now it's Thursday. Seriously, if I could finish anything the same day I began itwould be a miracle! (Deep breath--I wanted this!)
posted by Amy at 12:50 PM
14 Comments:
Amy, I remember well the difference between one and two kids. I had a really hard time with my second, my first was an angel. Anyway, I had lots of help from family and friends and it still didn't seem enough. So I feel for you, but want you to know it will get better. Keep doing what you can and don't worry about the rest.
It may sound weird, but I really like reading about what is going on because this is where I will be with two kids and I like the honesty of it. Most people will just say that it is hard, but you get used to it and that is that. I am sorry it is so blah right now and hope that it gets better. I can't believe you got your x-mas cards done- so awesome.
I still would love to come and take Kaitlin and Mya to the park sometime- I can handle the heat!
The transition from 1 child to 2 is a HUGE change. More so than I ever thought. I pray for days when both girls will nap at the same time so I can nap, or just so I can have a little break...those are also the days I feel guilty for not spending enough time alone with one or the other...or that napped myself instead of cleaning the kitchen.
I just remind myself that by this time nxt year Hannah will hopefully be walking (ACK) and be more of a playmate for Leah.
Oh, and I am will you on the feeling like you feed all the time...that does get better!
I guess it's good news that not blogging feels oppressive, otherwise you might not want to get back to blogging. I miss you when you're gone and keep wondering how you're doing.
Have you thought anymore about switching to bottles and formula instead of nursing? You sounded like you were close to switching last week. I remember feeling like a cow and like I should even bother getting dressed because all I did was nurse all day. It just occured to me that nursing forces you to stop and be in the moment with your baby. That's extremely hard to do when there are so many other things you really want to do. Hmmm.
Remember to call in reinforcements if you're swinging low, there's no need to sweat this stage out alone. You must be doing something right if you were able to get your Christmas cards going. Should I be panicked?
Amy, your schedule sounds almost identical to mine although I'm at the stage now where the nursing is much quicker. It does get quicker soon. I still do it a lot though and I have similar feelings to you. It's good to know we're not alone!!! Nursing can be a killer. I yearn for the day when I can be done with it - but Jill has a good point - that's the one time you can focus just on the baby (well sort of - the older child is always pulling on your leg).
Having a 2 year old and an 11 month old I understand how you feel. It sounds like you are adjusting well. I am literally dreaming of the days when they are both in school.
Maybe we should all get together and let the 2 year olds say no to eachother instead of us :)
I like the idea of getting together and letting the two year olds say no to each other! ;) If only it would end there. I think Kaitlin's well of no is nearly bottomless. I love when she says no to a question and then immediately changes her answer to yes. "No" is the reflex answer, "Yes" the truth! So hilarious.
Thanks for all of the words of encouragement. This is such a huge change, but I think I'm handling it better than the transition from one to two. Now that was a shock!
OH Amy! I so relate! And I wanted it too! Keep plugging away, let me know if you need anything!
Going from one child to two is so difficult. It's so much harder to meet their needs and yours. You can't necessarily nap or have time to yourself, because there's no guarantee that they will be sleeping at the same time! Plus, the older child is figuring out her new place in the family now that there is a new sibling thrown into the mix. Put it all together and it's no wonder you're feeling tired, not having much time to accomplish anything, and a little oppressed...
All I can say is it does get easier with time. They will both get a little older and a little more independent. You will start to get more rest and have more energy. Whenever I have a newborn, I feel like I will never be able to do anything again. Then, when they are about 4-6 months old, I remember that I will have a life again. Hang in there, and call us if you need a break!
p.s. you got your Christmas cards done? What the hell?! Congrats. I don't even have an idea yet.
All I can say is Good luck! You are a great mom -
I second everyone's thoughts. Good thing good hours are intermixed with the hard ones to keep us going.
I think we should do a group day at the park. Let the moms sit and visit and the bigger kids chase the two year olds. We just went to Olympic park in Lehi for the first time and thought it was great AND we were the only ones there for 4 hours.
We would be happy to take Kaitlin for an afternoon too. Jessica is quite the "babysitter" (of course, I would be the overseer). And I BEG to tend newborns!
time and a season.
don't be too hard on yourself
If it makes you feel better. It goes by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday I was in your shoes, nursing my baby and tackeling the other kiddos. Now my baby is almost 18 months old and going into nursery next month! That makes me sad, but I do feel your pain with the demands of young children. Hang in there!
It is so hard adding a new baby to an already estblished schedule. I am so sorry. Pretty soon, though, it will feel normal. (I think.)
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