Les Miserables

During my bogging hiatus I managed to finish Les Miserables. I know, you all will miss my endless whining about how terrible it was to read this book, but I'm sure you'll get over it. In the end, I still don't think I would recommend the unabridged version of this book to anyone. There are too many digressions that I think are simply unnecessary, and perhaps bear witness to the pomposity for which Hugo was known. A good abridged version would do quite nicely for most people, something I am shocked to be saying, since I usually avoid abridgments. That having been said, however, I am glad that I acheived my goal to read the entire unabridged book. It's somthing that I have3 wanted to do for a while, fueled by the fact that I was able to go to the musical in San Francisco with my Mom last summer.

I have stated before that I am a huge fan of the musical Les Miserables. I know every single word of the play by heart. I could sing every word of the three hour show, if I wnated to, with help from the CD, of course! To get myself through the book, I indulged in this love. She hasn't started singing along, but I'm pretty sure I've planted the words to the musical in Kaitlin's subconscious and someday she'll wake up with the words to "Master of the House" on her lips--at which time I will know I have done her a disservice, because I wanted her to memorize the Prologue! Anyway, I digress, a bad habit I can now attribute to Victor Hugo! Instead of writing about the book, because, really, how can one write about a 1400 page book, I am going to write about why I love the musical.

I remember in 10th grade we read Les Miserables in my English class. It just so happened that our reading coincided with the musical being performed in San Francisco. My parents decided to take me and my youngest brother to see the play that year, thus begining a 14 year (so far) deep adimration for the music of that show. As I got older my mom and I talked a lot about Les Miserables and how it, especially through Jean Valjean, encompasses the Young Women values, faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works and integrity. Through reading the book, I have found that this still holds to be true--even more so than the musical. But this is not what I want to focus on. As I've listened to the musical the last several months, I've come to love the Prologue. It's the story of Jean Valjean, how he got to be the man we know during the rest of the play. There is a part of the verse that have jumped out at me and given me a lot to think about. They are:

The day begins. . .
And now let's see
What this new world
Will do for me.

After he sings these words Jean Valjean goes out to find work, an honorable pursuit in itself. But he is not successful. He is found to be a convict by everyone who hires him, and as a result he is either fired or paid less than the other workers. He falls back into a life of crime. He steals the silver from the Bishop of Digne (who by the way makes me cry every time I hear his part of the Prologue--it's just that beautiful!). Later he is arrested and the silver is found on him. Instead of turning him in, the bishop, instead, says that he gave Jean Valjean the silver and then he gives him more. This is the turning point in Jean Valjean's life. This is where he learns the fallacy of his thinking that the world should do anything for him. He learns that what's important is what he brings to the world. Just as the Bishop gave him his freedom, Jean Valjean realizes that he can give more to the world than it will ever give him, and thus bless the lives of others. The musical and the book both focus on this to a great extent. It's a good lesson to learn. We all have things that we can give. It doesn't have to be money. Some of us have a tremendous capacity for love. Others have a talent for service, or listening or teaching, or any other of a number of ways we can bless other's lives. When we expect life to hand us everything we become miserable and selfish--not that I think anybody reading this has any of these problems! You are all such giving and thoughtful people. Have you been listening to Les Miserables as much as I have?

PS The recording I listen to is The Complete Symphonic Recording. They compliled all of the best performances from all over the world, and it's amazing. Particulary good is Eponine. She's from the Japanese cast, and didn't speak a word of English. She's really fabulous! And the best part it's 35$ on Amazon, but only $19.99 on iTunes. I highly recommend it.

Oppressive

I never thought that not blogging could feel oppressive. I've sometimes felt that the need to post every day can be a bit oppressive, but not posting? It's funny how one can grow to depend on putting the little day to day thoughts and happenings out there into the world of the Internet. The interaction that comes with it is rewarding and usually much needed.

Since I haven't gotten myself together enough to photograph my birthday book I've stayed from my blog. It's sort of like self punishment. I've also found myself with a very needy 2 year old on my hands. Every time I even think about sitting down in front of the computer she seems to sense it and begins asking for everything under the sun. Once I've fulfilled her needs, or ended an argument about why I won't fill her needs, it's time, once again, to feed Alex. And that kid could eat forever! We usually go 40 to 50 minutes at a time, and when I decide I'm done he usually isn't. So my day goes something like this. Wake up to feed Alexander. Kaitlin wakes up. Fix Kaitlin her chocolate milk and cereal. Take a shower. Feed Alexander. Get ready to go out to run errands. Come home. Fix Kaitlin's lunch. Feed Alexander. Try to get Alexander and Kaitlin down for a nap at the same time. Take a nap. Feed Alexander. Play with Kaitlin. Figure out what to make for dinner. Feed Alexander. Call Jeremy to beg him to come home ;), make dinner. Help get Kaitlin ready for bed. Hold Alexander without any interruptions. Feed Alexander. Go to bed to be ready to start the whole cycle over again.

It seems like drudgery, and sometimes it feels that way. My new mantra is "She's only two, she's only two!" I also have to remind myself often that I wanted this. Yes, I signed up for it, hard days and all. Today, though, I had a very good day. I had a little burst of energy. I skipped the nap, and got things done. I gave myself permission to play in my studio, and what a happy thing! Thanks to Kristie's Christmas post, I decided to start my Christmas cards. I designed them last year and bought everything for them, but then I ended up being too sick and tired with my pregnancy to actually make and send anything. So now they're all ready to be assembled. Then I just have to write my letter closer to the date. My reasoning is that I need to get my Christmas cards out early so I can be added back onto people's Christmas card lists!

OK, so I began this post on Wednesday and now it's Thursday. Seriously, if I could finish anything the same day I began itwould be a miracle! (Deep breath--I wanted this!)

Great friends, good food and lots of fun presents!

I absolutely couldn't let another day go by without thanking my wonderful friends for a fabulous birthday get together! Michelle, Jenn, Jill, Jana and Collette--you guys are the best! I had such a wonderful time on Wednesday night. You really did turn my birthday around. It's so nice and comforting to know that I have such a great circle of loving, giving and supportive friends. I don't know what I did to deserve you. I only know that I owe Jana a ton of thanks for inviting me to join her book club so ma ny years ago. Without her I wouldn't know any of you, and my life would be the poorer for it! Thank you so much for the delicious dinner! Michelle, I really think you need to post the recipe for your lasagna on your blog. For those of you who are unlucky enough to have not tasted it, you must beg for the recipe and take the time to do it right! You won't be disappointed! Of course it was complimented perfectly by cheesy spinach dip, yummy spinach salad, rolls from Shirley's, and the most decadent flourless chocolate cake in the world! (A little aside--Jenn sent a piece of cake home with me to eat for breakfast, that, of course, Kaitlin saw me eating the nest morning. I had to share my cake with her because she loves cake almost as enthusiastically as I do! While the cake was enjoyable the night before, I experienced added enjoyment in watching K's face break into a huge smile, and listening to her little giggle of pleasure after every bite! That girl has good taste in dessert!)

I also have to thnak you for the beutiful and thoughtful book you made me. Jenn really came through in putting another book together. She is just a bottomless well of creativity. If only she could share her talent so that we could all be able to create such beautiful objects! I always love helping to make books for everyone else, but it's something really special to receive one. Just like Michelle says, it's a great little pick me up to be able to read what your friends think about you. Why is it that in our closest relationships (and I'm talking about marital and family reltionships as well) we never take enough opportunities to express our feelings about each other? So thanks, girls for such a meaningful gift! Also, thanks for the gift certificate to Barnes and Noble and the book! I'm so looking forward to a quiet night out, a treat from the cafe and enoughb time to brouse around and get anything I want! That is pure bliss in my book!

And finally, thank you so much for all of the wonderful baby gifts! You ladies really spoiled me and Alexander! I am just so grateful for you girls. I can't possibly thank you enough!

And for everyone reading, I am going to take pictures of everything! That was the main holdup in posting about my great night. Jeremy and Kaitlin were supposed to go camping last night, and I was going to take pictures and write a post. Unfortuantely the heat is unbearable for Jeremy so they stayed home. Jeremy's going on a late night Mt. Timpanogos hike (well, actually he's leaving at 4:30) so hopefully Alex will be in a good mood and I'll have time to take pictures this evening.

Very Belated Birthday Post

One of the bunches of flowers I received from Jeremy for my birthday.

So, you might be wondering why in the world I would want to record my birthday for all time here on my blog. It was a really terrible birthday (sorry, Jeremy if you read this--but it was!) but I also want to thank everyone who sent me thoughtful cards and gifts. You blogging girls are amazingly giving and thoughtful and I really didn't want to forget you! So, here is the rundown of my day.

Jeremy let me sleep in as long as I could stand to without feeding Alexander. When I was done with that, and had gotten ready, we took off to Salt Lake to have breakfast at The Pancake House. If you've never eaten at The Pancake House you're truly missing out on a breakfast treat. (And no, it's nothing like The Waffle House!) I had the most decadent White Chocolate Macadamia Nut pancakes in the world. Really, they're a little bit of heaven on earth! But I digress. On the way to Salt Lake Jeremy informed me that he decided not to get me the present that he was going to get me for vague and uncertain reasons. So I gave him some ideas of things I would like, none of which have showed up in my house. Now I'm wondering if I'm supposed to go out any buy my own birthtday present. Sorry. Another digression. Anyway, we got home from breakfast, I fed Alexander, and then both kids went down for a nap. I decided to go clothes shopping. Big mistake! Big, BIG mistake. Why did I think that would be an enjoyable activity for my birthday? It wasn't. I went to Old Navy only to be cruelly reminded that since I no longer have the body of a teenager, I shouldn't be shopping at a store that caters to women who do. Of course, I can try to get that body back, but that's a long hard road in front of me--a reminder that should best have been saved for another day.

As I was driving home I, ironically, heard a call to Dr. Laura from a woman whose husband didn't do anything for her her for her birthday. I decided to ask Jeremy the question that I was pretty sure I already knew the answer to which was if he had even bought me a card. As I suspected the answer was no. I'll spare Jeremy the public embarassment of revealing what he did offer to do, but needless to say, I was very disappointed. I would rather receive a card than a gift any day!

The rest of Jeremy's day was spent trying to get paperwork ready for the sale of our condo in Lehi, going to the condo to meet with the buyers, and then attending the Doba screening of Pirates of the Caribbean. In Jeremy's defence he did tell me he would stay home from the movie. But at that point, I didn't see how his staying home could possibly redeem the day, so I sent him on his way, instead opting to get the kids into bed early and retiring to a nice hot bubble bath and book.

But, like I said, there were a few bright spots. I received several calls from friends and family. Jill had the misfortune of having to listen to my birthday woes on the phone. In true Jill style she called me back just as I was getting out of the bath to tell me she was on her way with cake from Dippidee (yum!). Really, Jill, you will never know how that little kindness touched me and made my day so much better! I also received some pretty good mail this birthday. I took a picture(click on the picture to see it bigger!) of the spread and put everyone's names on the things I received from them. I don't think I've gotten this many cards for my birthday since I was a little kid. I want to thank everybody who remembered me on my birthday. It really meant a lot to me. And special thanks to Pam, who I've never met, who sent me some really good chocolate (not pictured because I have no self control!) a cute monogram notebook and some cards and envelopes from Paper Source. You are so sweet!

Finally Jeremy did come home from the movie with not one but two bouquets of flowers and a card. I'm pretty sure that his assistant picked up the flowers for me. I'm not sure about the card. However (Jeremy), I don't want confirmation of either of these suspicions. After all, it is the thought that count's right?

So there you have it. Although I had no negative feelings about turning 30, the day I entered my fourth decade was a bit if a bust. And I'm sure a touch of postpartum depression didn't help matters much. Anyway, I have to stop. I'm depressing myself all over again. I hope I haven't done the same to you! I'm really much better now. I can even talk about the day good naturedly. Just ask Jenn.

Question

Why is it that the longer I go without posting the harder it is to actually post? I feel like I need to play catch up. Maybe not. Maybe I should just forge ahead and forget about the past few weeks. Here's what I want to post about:

-My really terrible birthday, and the few bright spots in it.
-Book reviews. Nursing has given me lots of time to read. I'm averaging a little more than a book a week. It's amazing how much reading you can get doen at 2:00 AM. The books I'm needing to review are: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, Persuasion by Jane Austen, Excellent Women by Barbara Pymm, Snowflower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See (though publishing of this post will have to wait since it's a book club book), Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, and in a few days Les Miserables (I'm finally down to less than 100 pages!!!!!!!!).
-The return of the To Do List! Yes, it's back and bigger than ever. Of course, I'm not as hard on myself if I don't get it done every week. But it is a jumping off point and a way to help me manage my time a little more efficiently.
-Post pictures of my craft room. One more night of work up here should make it presentable. Jeremy hung shelves for me this weekend. We have one more shelf to go, and then I can load them up with all of my cute and pretty things.
-Life in general. Why does that always seem to take over?

She's Finally Coming Around

Today Kaitlin discovered the joy of holding Alex. I was sitting on the couch getting ready to feed the baby, watching Jo Jo's Circus for the 100th time today, when Kaitlin walked up to me and announced that she wanted to hold Alexander. (When do children learn how to ask, rather than demand anyway?) I let her hold him for a few minutes. After I finished she was anxious to hold him again. We bathed him and then sat down to hold him again. She was so cute and proud of herself. She gave him kisses, stroked his head and laughed very happily. After that whenever Alex even whimpered Kaitlin would come up to me and say, "Oh no! Alexander's crying. I want to hold him!" My, doesn't she learn fast? Seriously, though, it's good to see her coming around. I try really hard not to push him on her. I know she's very apprehensive about having him here, so I don't want to force the issue. But it still does my heart good to see her begining to like him. I hate to wish his life away, but I can't wait until he becomes a little more interactive so Kaitlin can see how much fun it's going to be to have a little brother.

On a completely unrelated matter, since the camera has been out a lot more lately, I was able to capture a particularly good moring for Kaitlin's famous bedhead. She got very shy when I pointed the camera at her and ran to hide on the rug. I promise that her prone position had no effect on this morning's bedhead whatsoever. Her hair really was sticking straight up. If I ever get my act together and figure out how to use our .mac account to create photo galleries I've decided that I must have a bedhead gallery. I think that morning hair is really going to be her signature look for a while.